My Favorite Winter Olympics Sports

1. Biathlon. After years of horrible non-coverage, we finally get to see decent camera work and get decent commentary on the world’s only skiing-and-shooting sport. (The practicality of which was demonstrated by the Finns in WWII.) What’s more, they’re even running it all in real time, like an actual race! Unfortunately, they’ve been running it at five in the morning. But who cares! Getting to see biathlon — and even women’s biathlon, for once! — is incredible! Makes me want to get skis and sling a rifle on my back. (Despite my total lack of hand/eye coordination or athletic ability.)

The interesting bit is that you can’t ski too fast, or you’ll be breathing so hard that you miss your shots! For every shot you miss, you add a whole minute to your time….

2. Curling. Possibly a little too much commentary on this one, but at least the commentators have cute accents and deep knowledge of the sport. Computer graphics were a real breakthrough for coverage.

3. Figure skating and ice dancing. If the people actually, like, move to the music, instead of just doing their tricks and moves mechanically.

4. Ski jumping. Hey, what’s not to like?

5. Luge, et al. Hey, it’s sledding. What’s not to like? Also, it includes the world’s only positive meaning for “chicane”.

6. Slaloms. So fun to watch! So fun to say!

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