Hating Santa Claus and Bilbo Baggins

Our attorney general, who’s usually not a total tool, has affixed his name to a petition banning all smoking from children’s films.

I guess this means that Smaug the Dragon won’t be allowed to breathe….

Seriously, though, this means the end of “The Night Before Christmas” and Santa Claus smoking a pipe. It’s telling Abe Lincoln and Huck Finn that they can’t use their corncob pipes. It means that you can never again do a proper Victorian version of Sherlock Holmes for the younger set. And it means that Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins won’t be allowed to compete in making smoke rings. (Not to mention Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Aragorn, all of whom smoke nicotiana. The only one who picks it up by trying to be cool is the now-evil wizard Saruman, as part of his jealousy of Gandalf.)

Other than Huck Finn (who is presented as being a sort of juvenile delinquent of the 1800′s), all the famous children’s literature characters who smoke are also adults. Adults from bygone ages with different rules, at that. I just don’t see it as a priority.

It is likely to be some kind of preemptive strike against the upcoming two Hobbit films, which will be adult films now anyway. (And now I can see why, although I still disapprove of having two films padded out with fanfic.)

I would also like to point out that in a country busy okaying medical marijuana for people who have no medical condition except being stoners, the continuing pathological hatred of tobacco looks pretty darned pathetic. Drugs are a tonload more of a problem for society than tobacco ever dreamed of being.

And yes, I went right to the webpage and asked the Attorney General why he hates Santa Claus.

(PS – This is also stupid because Ohio is a tobacco-growing state. Not that I care about that any more than I’m a smoker, but it’s weird for the Attorney General to break solidarity with Ohio farmers.)

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Hating Santa Claus and Bilbo Baggins

  1. That’s probably why he’s doing this– to take some heat off the farmers.

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