How to Get Off Hold Instantly

1. Stay on hold for over an hour, listening to the hold music until you are ready to go insane.

2. Get hungry. Go get something to eat.

3. Take a really big bite.

Seriously, there was about a millisecond between my mouth being totally full of granola and unable to respond, and the nice lady saying hello. Gotta love Murphy’s Law.

(And yes, this is why God gave us the ability to spit stuff back out into the wrapper. Quietly.)

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