Attn: Pam Cooking Spray Ad Agency

What kind of creepy ad agency doesn’t know the difference between a muffin and a cupcake? Did your parents never let you into the kitchen, or what? If you bake batter into a muffin pan, that’s not called a “cupcake” unless it’s made from cake batter and is in a little paper cup.

What you show on your commercial is called a “muffin”. The idea of frosting muffins is disgusting, and there’s no way it can’t be messy. The idea of cooking cake batter like a muffin and then pretending it’s still a cupcake and frosting it…. messy. Yucky. Geez, just cook them in sphere shapes, put sticks in ’em, dip them in frosting, and serve them as lollipops, why don’t you. It’d be cleaner.

I suppose you are trying to claim that cupcakes baked in Pam won’t burn their sides and bottoms or get dry. I seriously doubt this. I’m sure the non-stick properties do work, or mostly.

But why would anyone even try this out with cupcake batter? That’s what pretty paper cups are for, or parchment cups for the truly dedicated. And frankly, I like my muffins in cups, too. It keeps them moist, clean, and free of crumbs. (Unless you’ve got one of those really solid, oily cornbread muffins, like the ones at Cracker Barrel. They wouldn’t dare fall apart on you before you bite in.)

(What doesn’t go in cups? So nice, so neat, so good a container for crumbs. You know, I should bake something so I can use my cute little cupcake cups!)

Anyway, you try to gross us out by portraying the poor mother as unable to get her “cupcakes” out of the muffin pan. (Because she didn’t put them in cups, duh.) She never uses, say, a spatula or any other household hint; you just show her shaking the pan like a madwoman and then tearing at the “cupcakes” with her hands. This would be funny, if the commercial was for cupcake cups. (How kind of you to make that commercial for them!)

You then have the woman awake from her horrid nightmare to happiness, because she used Pam. What every viewer is actually thinking is, “Why the heck didn’t she use cupcake cups? What was she thinking? Ew.”
Then they’re thinking is, “Ew. She’s frosting all those muffin/cupcakes in her hands, instead of holding onto the paper, and then she’s serving them to these poor kids in the middle of winter. Hope the chick doesn’t have a cold. Maybe that’s why she’s having a dream sequence — fever.”

You add to the stupidity of your alleged cupcakes by having her frost them, and then pile said nasty frosted muffins on a plate before a bunch of children. At a party. Not only does this invite crumbs to be flung everywhere and frosting to smear all over when the piled muffins inevitably tumble off the stack and the plate; it cries out for a food fight.

On the bright side, it’s good to see that your ad agency is determined to create new entries for Lileks’ Gallery of Regrettable Food. Someone has to. And I’m sure cupcake cup sales will go up.

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

7 responses to “Attn: Pam Cooking Spray Ad Agency

  1. Roxanna

    Just saw this commercial and had to Google “Pam cupcake commercial” to see if I was the only one that thought this. Obviously done, shot, and approved by a group of people that have never eaten cupcakes let alone bake them. This reminds me of the Northern commercial that had the little ladies quilting with knitting needles. They finally had to remake it due to the hilarity expressed by needleworkers.

  2. This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day!!!

    I wouldn’t use Pam for anything. My rule: if I pick it up in the dark and can’t decide whether it’s ant killer or possibly shaving cream, it’s NOT FOOD.

  3. John

    I saw the commercial and thought the same thing. That and why the heck didn’t she bake the cupcakes BEFORE the party.

    On a completely unrelated note…. Did you ever translate any of the Tana grotter books beyond the first one?

  4. sam

    i saw the new pam cupcake commerical and i think that that is why kids are so rude is because of stuff like that. that just teaches kids that it is ok to bang on the table and demand food. i dont think that it is ok for kids to do that. i also think that if kids do that it will make there parents verry upset. i dont really like the commerical and i dissagree with kids banging on the table.

  5. larry

    i am sorry but kids do not need to bang on the table like that.

  6. Jody Miller

    The latest Pam commercial is supposed to be funny? Spoiled brats,
    lacking manners, pounding on the table & chanting (yelling) because an adult didn’t satisfy them? Yes, this will REALLY teach youngsters
    to be polite and civilized. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I suggest that you THINK before running this kind of garbage, just
    how it may affect the audience(s).

  7. Melissa

    It’s a commercial.

    If your kid acts like a brat it is due to poor parenting.

    If you’re relying on PAM commercials to teach your children to be polite and civilized, I really feel sorry for you.

    Also, I baked cupcakes yesterday. I used store-bought cake mix and while reading the back noticed that it said to either spray the cupcake tins before pouring the batter OR use cupcake papers. Just because you don’t use papers doesn’t mean it’s not a cupcake. You said you use cupcake papers for your muffins- does that then make them cupcakes?

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.