We Are Okay

Multiple tornados in the Dayton area tonight. We are okay.

My younger brother had two trees fall in his driveway, but they missed his car and house!

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Nancy Drew Movie?

Yup, apparently there’s a new one. Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019).

First off — Nancy steals Trixie Belden’s hairstyle and hair color. Seriously. It’s glaringly obvious. Nancy Drew once had blonde hair, and then later had “Titian hair,” but she was never a straight-up redhead like Trixie. She also never had short hair — that was left to others.

Of course, if that’s the actress’ natural hair, fine. (Apparently she’s actually a very light sandy blonde in her publicity photos, so probably not. Her hair used to be ultra-short, so I guess Trixie Belden was as far as her hair managed to grow.) But the hairstyle is truly an exact copy of Trixie Belden’s, and it looks weird on a Nancy Drew. Makes a good Trixie Belden bookcover, though.

Secondly, it’s co-produced by Ellen DeGeneres. So yeah… there’s that. Nothing obviously weird has been added, though.

Thirdly, I’ve seen reviews claiming that the movie’s pretty harmless-to-good, but it also seems pretty dumb.

I mean, on the one hand, they’ve resurrected Nancy Drew’s older, gossipy party girl friend from the early books, Helen Corning. (And since Helen ends up happily married to a nice worthy hunk, it’s an interesting part for a modern actress to play.) But what is her personality now? No clue from the review. I thought she would turn out to be Nancy’s black friend on the poster, but apparently she’s the blonde chick standing in front, bossing the other two around. Helen is not even Nancy’s friend; she’s a Mean Girl who’s also the steady of the movie’s Mean Boy. And yet, they team up, because somehow this will provide an Important Lesson.

The lesson is that older series heroines didn’t bother trying to make friends with Mean Girls. It was for them to learn Important Lessons, and for the heroine to keep trucking.

Nancy’s closer friends, the cousins Georgina “George” Fayne and Bess Marvin, are also in the flick. Nancy and the other two are pretty much a classic trio, like Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, where each of the secondary characters expresses facets of the primary character in a more pronounced way. Nancy likes clothes and makeup and feminine stuff and boys, but Bess is boy-crazy, ultra-feminine, a little shy with strangers but happy to socialize, pudgy and not very athletic, and very good at housework and gourmet cooking. Nancy is a little bit of a sports and action girl, but George is crazy about sports, skinny and strong, needs a total jock boyfriend to keep up with her, drives like a maniac, and has no patience with most feminine graces. She’s a blonde, and George is a brunette.

So now George is an African-American girl with a big hair hairstyle that definitely would take a lot of time and styling. I’m not saying that she couldn’t be Bess’ cousin, and I’d actually praise the movie if she were. But, yeah, instead she is big into social media, which is somehow easily confused with being “tech savvy.” Apparently she has all of Bess’ personality traits, and yet she is named George; whereas Bess is sort of a non-action girl George.

Except Bess is braided and mousy, even though she also wears athletic clothes all the time. Yeah. Also, Bess has been transformed into a science geek. Okay, a chemistry geek, but come on. And her friends give her a sexy makeover with super-tight clothing. Not Bess making over Nancy or George, mind you. Nooo. And Bess, one of the most popular girls in school, is a social outcast now. Uh huh. But she still worries about loving food too much! Yes, let’s cut every other piece of legit Bess characterization, and leave a skinny actress being worried about turning pudgy or getting acne!

None of the reviewers comment much on these major changes. (The female reviewers mostly don’t seem to be familiar with Nancy Drew at all, although one of them does notice the callback about Bess and food.)

Nancy’s mom just died, which isn’t the worst decision in the world. If you have to have soapy drama, then at least that has something to do with the characters. But really, her mom died when she was either 10 (older books) or 3 (newer books).

Nancy is not from River Heights, which is dumb. She and her dad have just moved there from Chicago, and River Heights (a good-sized city) is all booooring, unlike living in the murder capital of America. (Except she wouldn’t have lived there; she would have lived in a suburb somewhere.) Needless to say, Nancy does not have a recognizable Chicago accent.

Nancy’s dad (who somehow is magically already a district attorney in this new town) is about five years older than the actress playing Nancy. And he’s not a crimefighter. Nooo, he’s got bigger game — there’s an evil train company trying to expand their rails into River Heights! How dare they! Yup, he’s been hired to fight industry on the taxpayer dollar, and he’s going to do it.

But liberals love light rail, right?

And his new boss is Nancy’s godfather, but that’s totally not the same as nepotism. (And they’re not Catholic or anything icky like that.)

The Drew’s motherly, high side of middle age housekeeper, Hannah Gruen, is maybe five years older than Nancy’s dad. And gorgeous. Because that’s who you cast as a motherly housekeeper. Yeah. But don’t worry! She’s no longer a highly paid household professional — she’s a paternal aunt, and she’s doing the housework for free, and then running off to work another job! Because that’s feminist!

Also, one of the main friendly adult characters in this movie is an ex-stripper who claims to have multiple current lovers. Because that’s all feminist and family-friendly and stuff. Yeah. Amusingly, she is the Mean Girl’s great-aunt, so at least there is some tiny little connection going on.

Also, Nancy and her pals’ first caper amounts to stalking. Revenge stalking. Okay, justified revenge stalking of a cyber-bully, culminating in a funny but harmless prank, but seriously? In our time and place? Even if you have the kids reprimanded, how is that right?

And then, they actually go through the juvenile justice system and are sentenced to community service? Seriously? How is that right, either?

Also, Nancy doesn’t just restrict herself to the odd picking of locks with a bobbypin. Nope, she straight-up steals a car. Not a villain car, to escape kidnapping. Nope, she apparently steals a car and goes driving without a license, because that’s what you do if you need to get somewhere. And the movie tells kids all about getting high off nutmeg.

But other than all of that, the movie is reasonably family-friendly and wholesome. Or so the reviews say. I don’t really trust the reviewers at this point.

The good news is that the actress playing Nancy seems to be very winning. So maybe the next movie will be better, although they rarely are.

So yeah… not really feeling the need to connect with my old friend Nancy. Sounds like she’s still hanging out in her books. The movie’s also only being released in big city markets right now, so there’s no point taking an interest.

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Sorry for the Long Blog Silence….

I could have sworn I was posting regularly, but obviously not!

I have unearthed some old posts, as well as making a new one below.

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St. Pascoe?

Pascoe, Pask, Paskey, Pascha, Pascal, and Pash were once popular English names. They all denoted a child born at Easter, aka the Pasch or Passover.

It was also common to name girls “Easter.”

Of course there was Tiffany (Theophany), Epiphania, and Epiphany, as well as Ephin and Effam.

Pentecost was also a name for both boys and girls, and Noel and Nowell lasted a good long time.

Yes, I am really enjoying Curiosities of Protestant Nomenclature. An excellent namebook that covers late medieval and early modern naming practices of all sorts of groups in England, as well as some notes on American names.

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Possibly the Weirdest Easter Egg Scripture Linkages. Ever.

There are a fair number of early modern books of sermons that mention Easter eggs during Eastertide.

One of the funnier ones is a guy who rewords Song of Songs.

There’s a bit in Songs 7:13 that says, “Within our gates are all the fruits. I have saved the old and the new for you, my beloved.”

In Hebrew and Latin back then, there was no punctuation, or very little. So a fair number of Scripture scholars (Bede, for example) quote this verse as “All the fruits, old and new, I have saved for you, my beloved.” (“Omnia poma nova et vetera servavi vobis, dilecte mi.”) This could be taken as referring to making fruit into preserves, so sometimes the preachers talked a little about home cooking at this point.

In one of the early modern sermon books, Father turns this into: “All the” [eggs,] “old and new, I have saved for you, my beloved,” and makes it the verse reference for his whole Eastertide sermon series! I’m pretty sure this is a joke; but the logic is this.

1. Back when everybody fasted from eggs during Lent, hardboiling eggs was a way to save the “old” eggs until they could be eaten. (And the eggs were often saved in containers of brine, oil, or butter, which kept them even longer.)

2. Back then, people in love gave their loved ones elaborate Easter eggs, much as we give Valentine presents today to our sweethearts. So it was a romance thing, and fit in well with the Song of Songs.

Another fun Easter egg in these early modern sermon books is linked to the risen Christ being mistaken for a gardener. Maybe Christ was carrying flowers, to represent all the Fathers and saints whom He had plucked out of Hell when He was harrowing it! (And so on.)

Later in the year, one gathered flowers in baskets. So in Europe in places where flowers aren’t up at Easter, a basket of colored eggs is supposed to be like a basket of flowers.

Flowers represent the Church’s various kinds of saints, in an ancient analogy that we see in St. Ambrose and other authors. The martyrs are like roses, the virgins are like lilies or violets, and the angels are also like lilies. So red eggs represent Christ’s wounds and blood and the blood of the martyrs, and thus the roses. Other colors of eggs must represent other kinds of saints.

Easter egg pattern books were also a thing. You could trace, “prick,” or copy an elaborate picture onto an egg, and then color it for your beloved or your family. Some books had explanatory didactic religious texts, like the one I linked elsewhere on this blog. (Didactic pictures of kids egging someone’s house really needed an explanation.)

I think this kind of stuff is fun. Unfortunately a lot of this Easter egg stuff is in German, and I don’t read German.

 

UPDATE: Hello, Instapundit readers! A cool chick seems to have given me an Instalanche. What a nest thing to do! After brooding over it, I have added a few things to this post to make it more readable and useful to a wider audience.

If you click on the “Easter eggs” tag, you will find several other posts on this topic from previous years.

I do not guarantee the usefulness of any links to Google Books, as public domain texts all have been  grayed out for me since Christmas Day. I can’t even read them through other countries’ Google Books, except by direct links to pages.

 

 

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Ever-Everything….

After Christmas Eve Mass, when all the young kids and parents had gone home, and only middle-aged people and college students were left chatting in the vestibule, it emerged that one young woman had never learned what it meant that our Blessed Mother is called “Ever-Virgin.”

Kiddies, this is your cue to click somewhere else on the Internet….

Ever-Virgin (“Aeiparthenos” in Greek) is an ancient title, and it means what it says. The Church has always believed, and always taught, that Mary was a virgin, physically and every other way, throughout her pregnancy, childbirth, and entire life. As a special sign from God, her hymen remained physically intact at all times. Most virgins have their hymens wither away in middle age or break by accident, at some point, if they do not break it by sex. This did not apply to Mary’s physical integrity. Since she was resurrected and carried off to Heaven bodily, she is still a physical virgin up in Heaven; and she will remain a physical virgin forever.

This is not a sign that God is obsessed with virginity, or hates women having sex. Obviously not… God invented sexual reproduction, and created humans to reproduce that way. If he wanted us to be totally asexual, we’d be budding things off or splitting in two like amoebas.

Mary is ever-virgin for several reasons. First, as a sign that Jesus Christ is the son of God and the son of a human woman, not a normal human being born to two normal human beings. He is true God and true man, and Mary’s continued virginity shows this strange and wonderful situation.

Second, we are told that in Heaven there is no marriage or giving in marriage. The same is true of eternal life after the general resurrection and Judgment. We will all be in a mystical union with God and each other, which will fulfill our emotional needs; and reproduction and sex will no longer be needed, because we will be immortal. Just as celibate priests and religious are supposed to live without sex as signs of this life to come, the same is true of Mary in her life.

There are other reasons and Biblical prophecies involved, but I won’t mention these right now. I’ll pass on towards what seems to be the crux of the problem with Mary, for a lot of modern women….

Mary is also the New Eve, the new mother of all the living, and the second person in the Bible with the honorable title “Woman.” She is not only an ever-virgin woman, but forever the “bride unwedded,” ever-Ark of the Covenant, ever-mother to Jesus and His mystical Body of believers. She has lived the life of a wife and a widow in a difficult time, and her hands were busy with weaving and work as the ever-Valiant Woman. But now she works in heaven as the ever-queen mother to the Son of David. All generations will call her blest.

But on the other side, remember that she was also the ever-insulted and ever-whispered about. Without having any of the fun, she must have suffered rumors and nastiness all her life. Even now, she gets to hear this crud; and it hurts and disappoints her, because she loves all of us. But she went through it all without sinning — somehow. With God’s help and grace.

Mary is the subject of some awfully strange ideas. Some people are threatened by the way God chose her to represent the troubles of all women: young and old, maidens and mommies, sinners and saints. We ladies have a tendency to try to keep up with the Mrs. Joneses, and we are unlikely to be able to keep up with Mary. She is the ultimate multitasker; and unlike Mary Poppins, she really is practically perfect in almost every way!

But everything Mary did, she did out of weakness and normalness. She was not a goddess. She was a human woman, although specially graced by not having to deal with original sin. But Eve had that. Mary only stayed sinless by trusting God, and asking Him for help when she was troubled. Since she was a human, that probably was all the time.

And yes, later on, God lived in her house and was her kid, but that would probably make it harder not to kick against God’s ways!

The other side is that other people think Mary was useless and not worth any notice, and should get no credit for anything she did. Clearly this is not so. Mary was not a doormat; she was a smart and independent woman. She thought and pondered; she made mistakes even without sinning. She was no puppet, or a mere container sitting on the shelf. When she thought she should do something, she moved fast.

So the moral of the story of Mary, especially for women, is that we need God every day, in every way, if we want to do all the things we need to do and be all the things we have to become.

But the other moral is that although we are weak and imperfect, God wants to give us graces and strengths. He wants to see us grow and become great ladies. He is on our side; and He will be our help always, if we let Him.

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Burying the Lead: Blessed Laura Vicuña

Laura Vicuña was a Peruvian-Argentinean girl who lived a saintly life and died in a heroically edifying way. The Salesian Brothers and Sisters in Argentina supported her cause for sainthood, and she was named a Venerable back in the early 1900’s, eventually being beatified by Pope John Paul II in the 1980’s.

Here’s the problem. Laura lived a difficult life because her desperately poor widowed mother became the live-in girlfriend of a ranch owner, who then started to go after Laura as she got older. (She died at the age of 13, though, and the guy had been going after her for over six years. So obviously he was a sick puppy, and it’s not clear if he went after her younger sister, Julia, also.)

The ranch owner was also a violent man, when he was drunk and when he wasn’t. He beat up the mother, and he beat up Laura when she refused him. Finally, Laura’s mom fled with her two kids to another town, but the abuser followed, demanding to rape Laura. Laura tried to draw him off or prevent her mom from letting him in, by leaving the place they were staying by another door. Instead she received a crazy beating from the man in the middle of the street, in the middle of town. He almost rode off with her unconscious body, but townspeople intervened before he could. He finished his work by throwing her down in the middle of the street. Laura recovered consciousness, but died of her injuries, after making her mom promise not to go back to him and then forgiving her killer.

All this was covered up in the normal outlines of her life. They said that she had tuberculosis (which she did), and that she had offered God her life to get her mom and sister out of the bad situation (which she did). But they said that it was the tuberculosis that killed her, as opposed to her internal bleeding and injuries. And they said that the bad situation was her mom living an immoral life, not the whole family being subject to a crazy abusive would-be rapist.

(It’s a little weird, because the normal story about St. Maria Goretti, from about the same time, is perfectly clear about the man having rape and murder as his intentions.)

A minor point is that the normal story still emphasizes that Laura was a friend to everybody in school, loved by the teachers, and a leader in sports. Apparently the real story is that Laura worked hard, was devout, helped everyone, was a favorite with the teachers for her good qualities — and was absolutely despised by every other girl in school, except for her one best friend. She was poor, she was stubborn, she had normal looks, and she was showing everybody else up.

Here’s another point. Laura’s mom, Mercedes Pino, was treated pretty poorly by life. Her husband Domenico Vicuña came from a rich family, while hers was poor or middle class. When they married against his family’s wishes and he was disowned by his family, her family also disowned her. She kept the family going for six years after her family died, living an honest life as a dressmaker and hatmaker. But in 1899, thieves broke into her store and cleared out the whole inventory, plus the store appliances. Seeking a new start, she took her girls into the frontier lands of Argentina, where there was supposed to be plenty of opportunity. She was willing to work hard as a maid and cook. So nobody knows why she agreed to become Manuel Mora’s mistress as well as his housekeeper.

Like Mercedes’ dead husband, Manuel Mora came from a good family. Unlike her husband, he had a long list of prior convictions, and wasn’t shy about shooting or stabbing people. Thanks to his family’s influence, he got a good grant of cattle land along the frontier. To give him credit, he was good at running estancias and raising cattle, and he dressed well. However, he was known to treat his hands like slaves, the local natives like worse than slaves, and was in the habit of whipping anyone who displeased him. He was then in need of a mistress, because he had branded his previous one like a cow and then driven her off the ranch.

Apparently he was very charming to Mercedes in the beginning, and implied that he was planning to marry her. But that was all just lies. He did initially pay the kids’ tuition for boarding school, but eventually he refused to pay more because he wanted easy access to Laura. (To their credit, the sisters then awarded Laura and Julia scholarships.)

One sad point is this: Laura didn’t understand what was going on with her mom and the abuser until she was ten, and one of the sisters taught about marriage as a Sacrament. The poor kid fainted dead away, right in the middle of class. (No doubt some of her classmates had been hinting stuff that she hadn’t understood.) It’s just as well, though, because the abuser made his first move on her after the end of that school year, in 1902.

That wasn’t the end of her troubles, either. She wanted to join an order, both for religious reasons and to get out of the bad home situation. (Which would also have lightened the financial load on her mom and sister, although obviously her sister would have been up next for unwanted attention from the abuser.) But she was refused admission to the order of Daughters of Mary Help of Christians, not just because of her age (the standard outline’s explanation), but because her mother was living an irregular life, and they feared giving scandal. Yes, crappy things happen to the holy.

Piecing together her story from different English sources is not only difficult, but pretty horrifying. Obviously you can’t teach everything to kids, but come on, people!

Blessed Laura Vicuña has been named a patron saint of abuse victims.

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